The Loneliness of the Backslider

Every single day people go to work, come home, go out with their friends, and spend their lives never truly interacting with anyone that genuinely feels and thinks like they do deep on the inside. They have to bury their true feelings and maintain relationships that are skin deep. The pleasures of sin last but for a short while but one of the prices they pay is never being able to truly connect with anyone on a daily basis.

If you look around the average person thinks very differently about right and wrong than what God says about it. Many in the Republican party and many churches are embracing and accepting sin. The world can appear to be a very lonely place for someone that believes what the Bible says about this subject. It can be an even lonelier place for a backslider that still believes God’s word is true.


The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways:

Proverbs 14:14

A backslider is someone that turns back to their sin. It is someone that turns away from God. Backsliding is in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. The Bible is 100% clear that a nation or an individual person can backslide. Israel is in a covenant relationship with God. Backsliding happens when a nation or an individual that is in a covenant relationship with God turns away from God.

Non-Jews enter into a covenant with God upon giving their hearts and lives to him. This is called salvation and the new birth accompanies it. Some people believe that a backslider was never really saved to begin with. Every situation is different. However, to apply this blanket over every single backslider is biblical dishonesty and conflicts with scripture itself.

Read about the Sower and the seed parable Jesus taught in Matthew. It describes how different people react to the word of God being preached and taught. Some appear to get saved but don’t last long. Some, however, do last. Someone that has been genuinely saved and born again for ten years then through a life that has gotten cold through prayerlessness will 100% lead to backsliding. Prayerlessness is sin. This person has backslid regardless if they still attend church or not.

Someone that has truly been born again and has been in church long enough to learn, understand and believe what the sculpture says about right and wrong yet falls back into sin is filled with their own ways as Proverbs tells us. Just because you partake in sin does not mean you agree with sin or believe it is morally right. Just because you drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, look at porn, commit fornication or adultery does not mean that you believe those things are morally acceptable. A backslider does these things because they are driven by the flesh and are now carnally minded. Deep down inside many still know and believe what the Bible says about right and wrong.

Not long ago the Church could preach to a drunkard that had never been saved and he acknowledged what he was doing was a sin. We have all heard the stories about the drunks in the bar singing gospel songs and crying because they knew what they were doing was wrong, yet they were covered with conviction. The basic principles of that were dominant years ago have went away in the United States and through certain parts of the world. The absence of knowledge of what is biblically right and wrong is dominant in our society. Today many people openly call evil good and good evil as it was in the days of Isaiah.

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

Isaiah 5:20

Moral Loneliness

There is a dilemma among the backsliders that deep down agree with the Bible on what is right and what is wrong. There is an inward struggle. It is even worse when you try to stand up for what is right yet you yourself are living in sin. Jesus even tells us that we should focus on our own sins and put them under subjection then we are able to help others or to speak up against someone else’s sins.

Matthew 7 is not telling us that we cannot call sin, sin. It is not telling us that we cannot speak out against sin or preach against sin. Rather Jesus is telling us to take care of our own sins first then we can preach, teach, and help others with their own sin. You cannot help another get free while you yourself are still bound.

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:5

Superficial relationships and surface deep friendships are not the problem. Once you try to go beyond the surface and express your true feelings about right and wrong you will realize that you are very different than everyone else around you. The younger generations are not the same as the older ones. The younger generations commit abominations and sins and genuinely believe what they are doing is right and morally acceptable. The problem is trying to find a relationship where you can find a common connection and understanding about basic morals and values.

When someone that used to be close to God backslides and holds no ill feelings towards God or his word, they will find that the world is a very lonely place for trying to make any deep long lasting connections. There comes a time when the backslider needs to wake up from pretending to play “sinner” and come back to the house of God. Deep down they believe what the Bible says. In the midst of their sins and their peers they have to keep their true beliefs hidden.

It is very difficult to commit a sin with a group of friends and everyone around you is vocal about the righteousness of that sin. You know it is evil. You know what you are doing is wrong. You are sinning because it feels good. It is a temporal pleasure. However inwardly there is conflict. You are not only separated from God, but you are separated from your own peers. You are with them sinning yet deep down you are not with them at all. You do not agree, and you do not connect with them. You have to remain in a shallow relationship with them and can never truly be yourself. Sin is not worth this.

Jesus gives us the perfect analogy when he gave us the parable about the parodical son. When you find yourself in that place where it feels like everyone around you feels and thinks differently than you, church starts to really feel like home. You really start to think about church similarly to grandma’s house and like mom and dad’s house that is off in a different state.

It really feels like home, but it also feels like it was so long ago and that connection had been lost. Still, That is home. That is where you belong. That is where you can truly find deep connections. It is a massive sigh of relief to realize that not everyone in the world has gone crazy and that there are some decent people still alive on this earth.

Do you ever long for and miss your grandmother’s baking? My grandmother died many years ago and I miss her baking very much. When you’re in this place where you feel so alone and that the house of God is the only place where you can find people that will truly understand you it is time to come home.

Jesus tells us in the parable of the prodigal son that the father was glad to see his son come home. His father made a feast to celebrate the occasion. God loves his children. The Bible tells us that he will leave the 99 and seek after that 1 lost sheep. The family of God is home. That is where you can find love, forgiveness, freedom from sin and strength.

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